Saturday, May 30, 2009

From the mouths of Children.

The red twin seater ferrari teased me as I drove past. Myself and boy love looking at them. I told him if I won the lotto I would buy one.
He thought for a moment and then made a sad sound, he told me there was no space for his baby sister.
I was touched.
I told him would could get a spank off big 4*4 just like the one coming towards us on the other side of the road, in fact I would buy a big house with a pool tool.
He then informed me that wouldn't do because I would have to buy his sister and himself presents.
I told him the house the two cars, any I had, would be theirs too. In fact the only thing I have for myself anyway is my bicycle.
He corrected me. He told me that for myself, I also had him and and his sister.
Talk about being humbled by a nine year old.

I am back training again

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Time is Trickling

I am not too sure how much longer I will be blogging. Since the baby has been born, things have got very busy life wise. I am still waiting to be divorced. Finances are at an all time low, I am just ignoring the letters the bank sends. There isn't really anything else I can do. Boy now spends his Wednesdays with his Uncle, his free time in his grandmothers house. His mother seems happy to pass him around.
I am still waiting for the war and abuse when she realises there will be no more changing and chopping weekends to suit her and her family. It won't be easy to take that stand but I will have to take it.
Work is usually busy, but like anywhere there are high and low periods. I am in an organisation where the understanding of open communication and team work is at a premium. You can imagine the challenge.
Lover is finding it hard being back at work and not being with the baby. I understand, but there is zero chance of surviving on 1 salary let alone it being my one.
My college education, post grad diploma and various courses in computers are unrecognised here. It's as if I was uneducated. My Salary I am afraid reflects that. Arguing it is like trying to convince a leopard that stripes are better and he really should wear a Zebra coat.
I still have a problem with my lower back/hip, but I have been swimming again for a couple of weeks. I have also started on the bicycle again. It's good, yesterday I got up as far as Aspremont which is a 20km round trip. I start about 190 meters above sea level, go up to 500 meters above sea level and come back again. The trip back takes roughly 25 minutes, the trip up took one hour and ten minutes. Still I love it.
I have put on quite a bit of weight in my non active period. I am trying not to let the frustrations of life get the better of me, to remain zen as it were.
I have goals, questions, desires, and yet; I am feeling or thinking, that nothing I do can make anything change. I am on the road pre determined, or destined, and somehow, life knows what choices I am making before I am even faced with it.
I remember my friend telling me, 'Slowly slowly catchee monkee', I can't for the life of me remember what it is from but I get the gist of it. Slow and calm, no questions, just move forward, slow and calm. Make no haste in the race to become the ultimate you, yet move gently forward, barely rustling the leaves of obstacles so the branches that would hinder you can slowly bend to your path and the forest will open to your desires. Slowly calmly moving forward.

Friday, May 01, 2009

May Day, May Day, but nothing urgent!

As the world economic crisis, grips countries around the globe, strong ripples wave their way through France and Monaco. People are loosing jobs, but not to the same extent as elsewhere. I am hoping this time I will be safe. I have had little time for writing or thinking. Work is constantly busy to make up for the short fall caused by those let go.
I am clearly tired in the evening as is lover. Booboo, our girl is just so smiley though, so we can't complain.
The festival time is starting too in the big wind up to Summer.
The barriers and coloured hoarding are all up in Monaco for the Grand Prix in 3 weeks time. Tourists are arriving already. The schools are out on holidays.
We had a hell of time finding someone to look after girl, but finally found someone awkwardly placed in relation to where we live.
Monday Morning will therefore be a panic, back to school for boy then the other direction for girl, then back to where we came from to reach the motor way...... I am not looking forward to it.
The rain has finally stopped, if it doesn't rain for the month of May we are in for a crazy hot summer.
I am swimming again and we encouraging each other to loose our winter bellys, with some situps, and hip stretches in the evenings. It is isn't easy, but hey there are too many flat bellys around for us to be comfortable on the beach.
There are issues to deal with between us, but I reckon if we feel good about ourselves we can only feel better about each other.
There is loads I could write about, but I am tired of whining about the divorce, which is costing me more and more each time I see my lawyer. It would have already paid for a very nice 2 week holiday in Ireland for the 4 of us.
I hope to get home this year and keep the job :-).
I am having fun reading a lot of blogs and playing video games to deeeeee stress myself, or is unstress, weird, or is it wierd?
Anyhow, things are okay, it's a loooong weekend. Not doing much but socialising today.
Have a happy May.

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