Wednesday, June 08, 2011

The time is now, well nearly!

So then this is it. I am off on a quest. Tomorrow morning I head off into the mountains. I have ideas, desires, deep within me as to what it will bring me. My linear logic tells me I am being silly, that I shouldn't expect so much, that it's a waste of time and effort. My other self tells me this time out to reflect, pray, seek, is everything I need and more to realise my dreams. I have dreams. I have big dreams, but somehow I managed to limit myself all my life.
It's time to break the limiters definitively, to plough on, to seek the greatness inside, to bring it to fruition, to become myself. It's time to grow up and be, instead of wandering around aimlessly trying to make sense of it all.
I know what I need to know. I have the keys. It's time to open the door and step through it.
I am nervous. It's time to smash the inherited ways of behaviour and thought and to make my own way forward. To drop the excuses, the fear, and the doubts. It's time to be the missile instead of longing to be a firework.

I might not be back. Have fun y'all. 

Monday, June 06, 2011

The Liberation of Man

Some where in the mists of time, legend, folklore, and cartoonists, would have us believe that man whacked woman over the head with a stick, dragged her back to his cave by the hair and humanity was born. History books, story books, and common knowledge has us believe that later, Men were the hunters, risking life and limb to take down a woolly mammoth,(when surely smaller game was easier and less threatening) and provide for the tribe while the women went out gathering berries and firewood. Speed forward a few centuries give or take,  where men were men, they were the bread winners and the little woman inside chained to the stove knew her place and didn't speak out of turn. In fact I am guessing it this moment that women decided to rebel, educated themselves, seized their power, burned their bras, and shook off many of the shackles that society as a whole had come to bind them up in. It's a work in progress. When a high ranking banker/politician can be accused of improper conduct of a sexual nature toward the person cleaning a hotel bedroom, we know instantly who the man was, and who the woman was, in the scenario. Women don't ever seem to be accused of this sort of thing and neither are they high powered bankers, normally.
Having watched and observed and asked questions of many women and men in my life I have come to a conclusion that there is an amazing magical trick happening that we all collude in. While society has largely accepted that women should have an equal role it has completely neglected the role of men. How often do I hear the men are the one with the power, the one who make decisions, the one who decides even? How often do I hear about sexism, about misogyny, about wife beaters, about child abusers and it's all men. We men are murderers , rapists, robbers, thieves, abusers of power and privilege, we are terrible fathers, we abandon our children and we are unfaithful, disloyal, and for the most part not up to much. Unless of course you are George Clooney or Brad Pitt. Note: Famous for doing nothing other than pretending, and having a set of facial features easy on the eye. This is what women aspire their men to be. Men on the other hand, may look at Pamela Anderson's breasts and go wow, but that's not they want in a life partner. Men for the most part, real men are either giving a great big two fingers to the expectations on them, intentionally, or are completely confused as to their true role in society. Somehow society needs to liberate the men. The writers, the single dads, the non single dads, the men who sit and listen, the men who stand by patiently, not understanding as a woman goes through childbirth and sometimes after depression, the men who watch their women struggle at work, the men who do the cooking, most of the cooking, the cleaning, the discipline teaching of the the children, the men who for want of a better word, have lost the role of the hunter, the warrior, the hero, and yet have that paradigm shoved down their throats from every advertisement, movie, game, and book. The men who sit on the sofa with their spouse and watch Desperate Housewives, wondering why the hell no one looks like that in their neighbourhood. I give a shout out to the men in sexless relationships, in loveless marriages, who don't understand themselves any more. Men who are abused by their children, men who have lost their way, lost their confidence and have no idea any more what it means to be a man. There are a lot of men out there, suffering and it's time to tell them they are seen. It's time to tell them they are worthy, they are heroes, even if only to their pet dog, and that they are worthwhile. I am firmly of the belief if our men, and I am talking of the 99 % who live real lives, not the presidents and bankers of the world which number a few hundred out of a few hundred millions.... I am talking about real people, if they realised their self worth, the prisons would not be overflowing, the porn and drug industries might not be so profitable, the streets would not have so many homeless and society and our planet would be a nicer place to be. If the women realised how wonderful these men are , then it would improve even more.   

Sunday, June 05, 2011

The journey continues.

After the hottest month of May since records began, June has started to torrential downpours, crazy thunderstorms and spectacular lightning effects. Nature is well and alive and vibrant.
I have been spending time making tobacco ties. Trying to remember every month of my life. One of the issues when you look at your life, is that it becomes a bit, let's say, disturbed in the present. When you really remember the choices you made, the lovers you had, the rejections you suffered, everything is crystallised into a small drug like dose of life. It makes you reflect. I run through all the emotions and finish up with my head so far up my ass I can't tell the difference between my navel and my nostril.
Will this change anything? Am I just wasting time?  With my injuries this year my sport has gone out the window and tiredness and all this confusion has been a extra slice of excuses as to why not go for a ride, or run. I am barely hanging on sport ways, I am in between contracts job wise and it's insecure. When you throw yourself into the great space, there is always a period of insecurity, and even fear, before you learn you can fly. I haven't learned yet that I can fly. I know life has more in store for me, or least I need more than the mundane. Perhaps there is a new adventure around the corner. I just have to be open to becoming myself and realising my dreams. Which shall always remain unspoken, yet, I imagine, are perfectly clear from my writings.
I imagined I was going to be questing in unbearable heat, and now it looks like it could be unbearable downpours.... who knows how the spirit will chose to answer the questions of a lifetime?

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