Saturday, September 25, 2010

An Expensive Mouse

Summer time where we are is hot. We keep the doors and windows open to allow the air to circulate through the house. I am freak for my kitchen so when flies and bugs and crawlies get in there, I freak. It's a stress related disorder. The more stressed I am the more I freak at the crawlies. If I am relaxed, I just  pick them up and throw them outsided. That doesn't happen too often.

Recently we started having fridge problems.. Only have the ice box was freezing our food, the cool box was losing temperature.....and we thought hell, it has to be replaced. During our pondering, one evening, there was a cry from the kitchen. Lover was looking stressed. " We have a mouse! ".

I wasn't in the slightest freaked. I opened the kitchen door and there he was, an odd looking creature, a rodent for sure, definitely not a rat, but not what I would have called a mouse......he hopped off along the counter and down behind the electrical machines...

We cleaned the kitchen like fanatics, I made a barrier in the kitchen put down some poison and left the door open in the hope the visitor would get the idea and just leave. I went to back to bed from whence I had come.

The next morning all was clear, no mouse droppings anywhere, poison seemed a bit disturbed, I cleaned up and shut up the kitchen.

A few days later just after dinner there was a hissing sound in the kitchen.....I investigated behind the machines and one of the water pipes had a small bite in it, and it was pissing water everywhere. We shut off the water, put down more poison, replaced the pipes, never easy in a tight space and lived as normal.

The new fridge arrived a week later, running water was needed as it had an ice maker, and I jack of all trades that I am ,  I was able to plumb that in without  a bother, just a 20 km round trip to the hardware store on a hot day.

Two days ago, we saw more evidence of our long tailed friend, this time, little lines of shit, packets of unopened beans, chewed, my open almonds bitten while still in the bag.......Goddam, lots of food into the bin another top to bottom clean. All food will now be kept in Jars, glass jars. Anything else will go into the kickass huge fridge we got. I am getting close to freaking. I carefully place poison in strategic places.

This morning I awoke to blackness. No lights. no clocks, I got up to investigate. No light in the bathroom. I walked into the kitchen. It had become a swimming pool. There was a good 2 inches/ 5 centimeters of water on the floor accompanied by a hissing sound. When I say on the floor, I mean it was like a luxury swimming pool in there, a bit of heat and it would have been a sauna. I thought the new fridge had upped and died on us. I checked the power box, and the mains switch had tripped. Luckily for me, because sleepy as I was I just strolled in my bare feet. I couldn't believe it. Mr mouse had chewed the same pipe, I cut the water supply cleaned up. Had he chewed an electrical line, and somehow the power hadn't tripped, I would have very burned feet and probably still have my nails embedded in the kitchen ceiling. I hit the hard ware store, for the third time, this time buying a metal hose pipe and not a rubber one. We realised once the power was back on and everything dry, the laundry machine had gone kaput. The jet of water had no doubt hit the electrics somewhere and shorted out the machine. Mouse has already cost a couple of hundred euros and now we need  new laundry machine. When I get the little bastard I am going to douse him in parrafin, stick a firework up his ass and light it, then I am going to throw him on the halloween bonfire and dance till dawn to the gods and hope the accept the sacrifices we have made.

We now have in a room about 30 foot long, by 12 foot wide, or roughly 10 meters by 4,  3 old fashioned mouse traps, half a box of poison out of reach of kiddies hands too, and another new fangled humaine trap.... Humaine my ass, it's a mouse not a human.... I am beginning to understand how Tom felt in all those cartoons when I was a kid.

Friday, August 20, 2010

New Bike Shoes

I just got new bike shoes. Brand new half price. The smell of the leather is gorgeous. The feel of the insole is fantastic. I couldn't wait to swap over the cleats from my old cheapo shoes that have served me over 1,600k since March. I had just arrived in on the bike ride home from work. I sat on the floor as I am forbidden to sit on the furniture till I stop sweating. My partner handed me the scissors and I showed my baby girl how to open the box. Immediately she was in pulling out the bag and shoes and I help her because it was so heavy for her. She watched as I detached the cleats and carefully lined them up on the new shoes.
She was a bit worried as when I come in she always bends down and undoes the velcro straps to help me out of them. At 18 months of age she hasn't heard of womens lib yet. When she saw me attacking her favourite shoes, she got a little upset, but I smiled and reassured her everything was fine. Cleats attached, straight, look about as similar on each shoe as I can possibly get.

Dinner is finished with, bed time for baba but god I have an itch. The shoes have been calling me throughout my meal. I pick up the new shoes smelling them, I have to slip my feet into them, OH GOD they are so much more comfortable, I didn't think it was possible.... It's nearly 11pm hell I might just go out for a ride. But I am on a big hill and I have already done 50k today. I will just sit on the bike maybe. The bike lives between the bookcase and the sofa in the living room( long story). I pull it out of its place, I am in foot heaven right now. I line her up level with the frame of the sliding doors. I have to sit up on her. I clip in. God damn this feels good. I back pedal a bit yep they are straight, they feel good. One hand on the door frame the other on the front brake, I moved forward gently , I get the notion to cycle down the living room, but decide against it. I see the clock on the bike and look at my woman who is watching TV. She says something I look up starting to answer, I remember I have to log my distance. My shoes are so comfy on my feet I forget where I am and I go to leave the room without getting off the bike.

I have released the brake and let go of the door frame. I lean 2 degrees left, oh Shi* it's just enough to start my voyage, another few degress over , the door jamb is too far away to grab, slowly I am going over, so slowly , can't get my foot out of the pedal, I am still going, the room is at a 45 degree angle, yes my right foot is free, OH SHI* wrong foot, 47 degrees ah the left foot is out, 50 degrees, yes the left foot makes it to the tiled floor whoohoo disaster avoided,.... for about a milisecond. My foot just slides to the left and keeps going .....oh oh CRASH BANG goes, the bike, the helmet that was on the handle bars, the sun glasses in the helmet go flying across the room and yet I manage somehow with arms flailing widly and legs like a near born deer to keep my balance.

Quick inspection, the bike is fine, quick inspection the shoes are fine, 10 seconds later, severe ache in back, in the ass as I hit the point of saddle on the coxix on the way down, and the left ankle begins to throb........I reckon tomorrow I am going to feel it. But I am okay. So the moral of the story, if you get new bike shoes, get out of the house and ride.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Been Away for a while now

Well I am sure no one comes here anymore, but the few that did will come back if I start to write regularly again.
I haven't been writing because I have been training, working, getting on with it, in regards to my kids and partner.
I am trying to be positive and in truth, getting the divorce has been a huge weight of my shoulders. For my couple however we had a setback in that Lover is without a job. So if anyone needs a really good web project manager or designer, do let us know.
Yesterday our oven broke. I am trying not to think about the things we need and the things we want. We need an oven. I want a wetsuit, 250 euros, I want a bike fit, 100 euros plus no injuries, and new bike shoes, about 100 euros. I don't have it so I have to wait. We have bills, like everyone. Our challenge is not to panic, but to be calm confident and collected about our abilities and to start truly to prioritise. One of those priorities was for me to get fit. In getting fit, I could then tackle a life dream. So the getting fit is happening. For the month of may I have done the following,

Swam: 13000.00 M - 5h 20m

Biked : 541.69 KM - 26h 37m 17s

Run    : 13.52 KM - 1h 47m 22s

I know that is a lot by normal peoples standards, but triathletes would find that small potatoes. However this is my news for the month of May.  I am swimming better than ever, biking better than ever, and Obviously the run needs a bit of work.
Summer has arrived, the tan is starting to kick in , it's getting hot and it's times like this we realise how damn lucky we really are.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I am a triathlete.

I have no idea where to start! The day has been full of emotion. Major stress, huge highs, emotional outbursts, but I am good.

I am a tri-athlete.

I have finally after 3 years of getting injured and trying, and trying and getting injured, finally, I have run a triathlon.

I don't care about my placing, as a debutant, a beginner, and someone whose training was completely out the window for his first race I am quite proud of myself and my time.

All week I had been stressed. I had no idea where to go physically for the race in Carros, on the Cote D'azur. In the end it wasn't so hard to find and not so far from home. The forecast was rain. I had no idea what gear to bring with me, I had no idea of anything, and as often when we are unsure or new to something, I became extremely dumb. I almost sacrificed my power into helplessness, but I didn't. I have been through too much to do that any more.

I prepared badly in truth. I had not got to run 3 times a week as planned. I averaged a half hour run once a week for the last 6 weeks. I averaged a bike ride maybe every 9 days, either 20kms plus or 56km. I swam 3 times a week, 1 for 2 hours and twice for a little over an hour and I have been doing that since January.

Well that's all back story I suppose. I woke this morning to a wet countryside. The sky was grey it had rained all night and I had never been riding on a wet road here. Too many injuries and my bike is too expensive to bother taking the risk because the main goal of my triathlon training is a race that will take place in the dry. However, today it was cold and wet.

I got myself lost driving around this place Carros, which is not the same as Carros village and for the life of me I couldn't find the sports hall. I finally asked someone when I was outside the pool, and they directed me back down the extremely steep hill to the start of the road I had just travelled.

Finding the hall was one thing, knowing what to do and how to do it was another. I got a call from and English member of the club who was lost and decided to go and get her and her entourage in my car and show them the way. I fell into a one way traffic system trap and instead of travelling a few hundred meters I ended doing a 10k ride in the car right at the time I should have been collecting my number.

I finally got back and a bundle of nerves I went through the motions of signing up. I saw my name on the list, number 95 leaving time 10:47am. I went to the desk and signed. The lady made a remark about name, and I realised it was she who had issued my licence. She had had to issue a second because my name had been completely misspelled on the original. I was amazed that of all the hundreds of licences she would give out, she would remember mine. I collected my free socks, My numbers, ( dossard) and made my way into the hall.

There was a Referee who was a cross between George Clooney and Chris Kristofferson. He smile stopped me and told me to put on my helmet. He even fastened it for me. In I went and found my place. I watched the others rubbing strange smelling stuff on their legs, I watched people kick my stuff on the floor around and with a look they stopped. I watched people do what people do to prepare for triathlons while I stressed. I bounced, stretched, went in and out numerous times, I ate, I ate again. I attached my number to my number carrying belt that I had bought the day previously. I wasn't ready. I had stage fright. Laurent, the Iron man and secretary of the club was hyper, and started cracking jokes about my name. He was delighted I was there but in truth the guy is a total nutcase, loveable but mental. he was going to swim in his socks. I am a debutant but there was no way I was going to wear my socks in the pool and the do a cycle and run. That was not happening.

I finally decided on what I going to wear over my trifunction I took just my bike jacket, I put some stuff in the pocket. I stretched myself out, I bounced around. Michael Jackson was playing on the loudspeakers, I moved and shaked a little trying to get my muscles working, the stress level was unreal.

I eventually headed out of the hall, there was a line of people waiting for the start. They mounted the steps, were held in place and counted down. I was so nervous it was etched on my face. Laurent took the piss again, he was roaring and laughing and I was grateful. He was happy to see I could take a joke, happy to see me race. It was my turn. I mounted up. They held the bike at an angle. Corinne the club president was injured so was taking the photos. 5, 4, I spun the pedals back I was still at an angle and tried to right myself, click, two, one, I span the pedals back, TOP, I was off down the ramp. I could hear loads of people shouting , ' Allez Collie, Go', I did just that. The first hundred meters were over slightly uneven ground it was wet, we had been warned many people had fallen. There was no way I was falling today. I came gently to the first bend and then suddenly took off, there was 500meters to a round about, off at 2pm and uphill hard, the road looped around , 'Watch out it's very slippy' they said. I backed off and went around and up, and up and up another round about, off at 9pm. I was back on the road to the pool it was steep, I was already puffing like a guy on 40 a day. Shit it was steep. I made it, dismounted badly, ran in to the area, unhooked the number strap, opened the velcro on the shoes, unzipped and put down the helmet and the bike glasses and off I went, the run was 200 meters maybe 250 up steps, I was hyper ventilating. I had forgotten my swim goggles. I didn't care, Up again I went and saw a lot of people coming down, no quarter was given. They were serious folks. The pool was a dome with a sliding wall in I went, they referee explained what to do, one lane 2 lengths, change lane, 2 lengths, change lane, 2 lengths, change lane 2 lengths, take your time, calm down take it easy. The water was about 30 C, he wanted me to sit on the edge and lower myself in, I was already down the steps, the chlorine stung my eyes, the first 50 was difficult, I couldn't breathe right, I was panicked, by 100 I had stopped to turn and took the turn easy by 150 I was in my stride for the stroke but I was exhausted I got to the end and leapt up the ladder and back down the steps. The guy who had started after me had passed me on the way up, I passed him in transition. I stuck my helmet, jacket and number strap on, then the glasses, they fogged up, I stuck on my shoes, took of the glasses and put them in my back pocket. ran to the exit, mounted and then it was down the hill again. More cries of watch out it's slippy, I was under such stress I didn't think I was going to finish, the fear of falling was prominent in my mind. Around the round about touching 40km and hour down hill another round about hard on the breaks and then a gentle climb. 2 km gently climbing giving it my all. I was being passed with regularity, Serge from the club encouraged as he flew passed. He has been my mentor since last November. A guy passed me and settled in about 200 meters in front of me and didn't get much farther till Carros village. The 16.4 km took us from Carros, to Gattieres, through Carros Village, and back to Carros again. Kilometre number 3 and the road decided to go up a wall it did that for the next 4 kilometres’. I thought how lucky I was to live on a similar hill and at least I knew I could get up there. I was beginning to settle down and enjoy myself, I let out a whoop of joy and immediately some guy on a rocket with an exocet up his ass flew past. I was embarrassed for all of about 2 seconds and cracked up laughing. I had no idea were I was, no idea where I was going, just that it was up. Half way through the cycle I was aching for the end, getting to Carros village I was sure I was last, people were out on the streets egging me on. I was conscious of not burning myself out for the run. Up again after the village, and then a series of false plateaus, rising and falling, all the time from distance looking flat. I didn't once engage the big cog at the front as I wasn't confident of the change back, the chain had fallen off the last two times I was on the bike and I hadn't regulated the derailleur. I didn't know was there more hills. Finally the right turn down hill, now I was on a flyer. I was pumping my legs, 5km to home the roads were still wet but drying, people were all the time encouraging me, I thought of Anton's master the hills so you don't need to pay the hospital bills. My legs were burning, I thought of tonis tri and how good she looked in one of her photos. I wondered did Krazykit Kat know or care that I was running today. I thought of Garen. He has been a complete inspiration keeping me going in my dark times. I knew he had a half marathon and I wondered how it would go for him. The hills were very steep, the curves were sharp the roads were wet, I took my time, I wanted something in the tank for the run, but already my emotions were bubbling up, already tears were trying to surface. I thought of my kids and family and I thought today finally after 3 years, my journey to Iron man can truly begin, it has truly been born. I got back to the finish line and there was the expected confusion of where to go what to do, I was now running in my cleats, bad move, I dumped the bike, dried the feet stuck on the runners, dumped the bike jacket, and off I went, I expected my thighs to scream they didn't I felt okay. I had grabbed a bottle of flavoured water and was out the door. The crowd screamed again calling my name, I couldn't believe it. I took off at a pace faster than I am used to. I saw all my club mates coming back, I got a high 5 from Serge, I saw Nat and encouraged her, she finished 3rd for the girls overall.

I was struck by how erect my body was. My head was high, my back straight and I was pumping it down the road into the industrial estate. No distance markers, my lungs were burning, my heart had stopped beating it was just a burning hole in my chest, I asked how far, there was no answer. I was pushed on by encouraging people, I was so grateful. I was going to do , I was going to finish my first triathlon. The pain suddenly shot through me like something snapping. I went from a brisk run to a walk abruptly. I thought of Trifuel and all the people there, I took a swig of water, I thought of my boy I think, I thought of walking just for a few minutes, just wait till the watch reads 12, it was on 08, then I could run again. I think it was probably still on 08 when my legs just kicked in and off I went, a few more hundred meters there was a kid all alone, maybe 14, clapping and calling to me, 200 meters more there was a time keeper, go on, you are almost at the 2 km mark. I wanted to stop my legs kept pumping, I turned the bend I really wanted to stop, my legs kept turning, I saw the guy with the flag in front, I knew I was last, I was embarrassed, I didn't want to walk now, everyone was waiting. I kept running, the ground changed from broken up tarmac to soft earth, and the change was welcome, allez go just 500 meters. I had to dig really really deep, so deep my emotions broke forth I ran 300 meters, and then the next person said allez go just 500 meters, I was sobbing, I didn't know why, now I had two referees on bikes behind me, I was grunting, pushing myself forward, I was waiting for that sprint finish energy I get sometimes, it was nowhere, It wasn't going to come, 200 meters to go I was blubbing like a kid, and shouting like an orgasmic tennis player without the pleasure. I could see the ref signalling to me, it Clooneystoffereson again, he waved which lane, I burst over the line to applause and shouts, and I was then suddenly very very alone. I couldn't breath. I thought I was going to have a crisis. I had taken my medicine this morning I should have been fine, I wanted a hug. There wasn't one. I got it together shaking and trembling... I watched the prize giving. One of the guys from the club saw me, 'Are you okay' I nodded yes, he waited for a reply, he could see the tears in my eyes, maybe he knew where I had been. I went and got changed as the bike hall was dismantled and returned to a sports gym. I came out, one of the marshals’ saw me, she had been looking for me. She wanted to make sure I was okay. I told her I was fine, just a bit emotional and her kindness set me over the edge again. I had to move away.

My emotions are still all over the place. I had a lunch with the club, nobody cared I was last but one. No one dismissed me, I got home to my girls, my boy rang to see how it went. My 10 year old thought of me. He was impressed with the distance but I am pretty sure he was hoping I would get a medal or something. We had friends for dinner, I wasn't great company.

I did my sprint triathlon in 1 hour 30 mins and 50+ seconds. I am a triathlete. I don't give a rats ass I am slow, I don't give a rats ass I am emotional, it was my race. I did it.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

First Race coming up

Now that I am back to health I have been training. Swimming and learning to swim correctly, running a little and out and about on the new bike a bit. I have been enrolled by the triathlon club into my first Triathlon race in the  mountains near Nice, in a town called Carros..
I have to bike 1.4km up a steep hill to the swimming pool , run up about 50 steps to the pool proper and dive in and swim 200 meters, then bike 16.4 km then run 4k. It will be chilly, I will wear a tri suit, I will be pissed off on the run I imagine, given how I feel after training at the moment.
But I am doing it, that is the main thing, I am going to finish it........then I will post a report here, in this old space where I pass by from time to time, leaving some thoughts on the table or sideboard for passers by to consider.....
Lets not search for problems, lets just find solutions.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Why Ireland didn't qualify for the World Cup

Out of the norm I have to comment on a football match I have just seen. Actually, it wasn't a match. It was a near massacre. The Republic of Ireland have some guys who can play above average. Brazil have some guys who play average, the rest are well above. We have a manager with a great reputation, but someone who is aging, shown himself to be beligerent and one dimensional.
We have a team that cannot match the top flight of international football. I understand 2 central defenders were missing but there is no excuse for a having a midfield where Brazilians can waltz from one end of the field to the other, flicking, backheeling, nutmeging and in truth making fools of footballers who are paid astronomical sums of money in a league that promotes itself as the best in the world.
One of the guys playing tonight for Ireland was responsible for the goal scored by the French Hand in Paris in November last. He was at his usual game again tonight, not covering, letting defenders get between him and the goal, unable to keep the ball and has no business in a professional soccer outfit never mind wearing the green jersey of Ireland.
Frankly I was aghast at the gap in quality, style, and effort. I had high hopes after Paris that Ireland would go on and build. They have slipped dangerously backwards to  Stautonesque proportions. I am just glad it wasn't 6 or 7 because it could have been.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The difference between what I had, and what I have!

Normally when I cycle I go from here to Aspremont and back. It's a 10km struggle uphill that takes me 56 mins every single time. Today was the first day we have had sun shine in a while. So after my dismal pool performance this morning I took off on the bike.
Actually the pool performance only felt dismal. I didn't have the couple of swim buddies with me, and I spent my slow session looking at the sprinters trying to figure out how when I swim fast and they go slow, they are still faster than I.
I am still struggling with the technique of breathing without lifting my head. I am sure it will come but frankly it's frustrating. So anyway, I got home. I got changed and I took the GIANT DEFY ADVANCED 1, the winged wonder, the carbon copy of brilliance, the lightening strike of a bicycle out on the road for the first time.
It's rubbish. No I am joking, Actually it has to front chain cogs a 50 something, and a 34. So it's lowest gear, is not as low as the lowest gear on my other thing that up until today passed for a bicycle.
I went uphill as usual but found the second stage of the climb which happens after the first 500 meter hill, a bit harder, I kept going lowest gear all the time. There is one spot where I get a nice run down hill and then it's a hard climb again. The run down I realised I was in a unfamiliar position. The handle bars were different I wasn't too confident about the control, I hit about 42kph which is faster than normal for that part of the ride, already I was loving it.
On I went up and up, I finally got to a level part where I engaged the 50+  the bike took off. It was nothing short of incredible. I took in the views and screamed out loud with delight. I am sure the locals will arrest me some time and if they do hear me are convinced I am crazy.
I finally got to Aspremont, 12 mins quicker than I normally do. I don't normally have an hour work out in the pool just before hand.  The roads I was on felt smooter, the bike itself is way lighter but being built for endurance, and being built for quality, the difference is out of this world.
I had been beginning to have doubts if I could make the grade really. This bike has blown those doubts away. If I had a bike like that as I child I would have won the Tour de France more than a few times. It is just a pure joy to ride. The descent happened in about 15 mins as opposed to 20+ mins, I could not only get up to higher speeds than I was used to, I could maintain them, and there was still a lot more in the sprint tank if needed. The bike went exactly where I pointed it, it was extremely responsive. I am extremely happy with the purchase, the experience and good god, one of these days, I might even be able to call myself a triathlete.
I did break the speed limit on the way down, without much effort. Thankfully there are no radars.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

My new everything!

Apt it is that today is the 13th of the month. I brought this home. It is the result of a lot of thought, and research, a lot of courage, and some guilt because it's way out of my normal budget range. But this is what is going to carry me into the world of triathlon.  It's a Giant Defy Advanced. It has a full carbon frame and Shimano Ultegra bits and pieces. Assuming it doesn't get stolen, this bike which I can lift with one finger must have something seriously wrong with it. I got it for roughly 2/3 of the price of new. It's been a store/show bike, so the saddle has been up and down but it's never been ridden apparently. I am sort of sure of that as it's pristine clean except around the saddle and handle bars where people obviously touch it.
I looked up the wheels on the internet, DT Swiss RR 1450's and the price I found was dearer than what I paid for the whole set up.

So I have been swimming a lot and I am finally getting somewhere with my stroke and distance and endurance improving, I just have to work on the breathing bit.

It has been snowing here too so I have not been running or biking. The weather is just crazy!

So I have a new bike, the weather is new and I now have a new status in life. I am offically divorced. I didn't get the shared custody of my son. The judge decided the only reason for that was that Boy himself hadn't requested it. I am now okay with it. I was hurt and perplexed for a while but I knew it wasn't going to happen. What changes is that I have a piece of paper, proof, ground to stand on to back up my point of view in discussions with my ex. To be honest I love the sound of 'My Ex' at the moment. I am not thankful for the experiences I have had in this story. I do have some resentment towards this person. I hope it goes some day and that we can as adults look each other in the eye and discuss our sons future amicably and intelligently.

But today is my day of new things. I swam further than before. I grouped together a big distance in the pool without stopping. I got my bike. I am a single man in a committed relationship with Lover, Boy and Booboo our girl. Who incidently, today, said her first word.
It was 'A Table', which is the call to come to sit and eat at the table. Isn't life just a really good buzz when you are not looking at your belly button?

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Wow the little one is one. The big one is growing fast.

I have joined a triathlon club and I had an ingrown infected toenail which they treated without anaesthetic...

I can tell you I am not showing the other photos I have of it. It was extremely painful before, and during, but now it's fine.
I am also learning to swim properly now with my club. The breathing is bit hard but I will get there. I am enrolled for a sprint race at the end of March. I don't think I will be ready as I haven't been running at all. But I will give it a shot. I am going to focus eventually on very long distance but a sprint will at least tell me where I am at.
That's it that's my gorey news. :-)

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

2010 and what my year may bring

I have been debating with myself if I should continue to blog here. I am trying to write my book and not having much free time at the moment, it seems not really feasible to try to do the two.
However just now I have a free moment. I thought I would update what I expect from this year.
I have fallen into a pond of positivity lately. I am making things happen around me. Some good things have happened that I cannot divulge but financially I am just a little better off.
I am waiting for my lawyer to ring me so I know what the decision of the judge was.
I am re learning how to swim with my triathlon club and it's the first time I have had swimming lessons in over 30 years, and it's really hard to try to relearn something I was doing all by myself.
My shoulder hurts like hell lately from the effort but it's all good.
I have run once, last week and will starting stretching a bit more.
I am on the bike a little bit, so maybe this year I will get a race in and I can finally really call myself a triathlete.

A new job for both of us in my couple would be fun, helpful and good so steps are being taken to organise that. Lover is feeling down, guilty , and pretty bad about herself. I guess a combination of baby blues, some shame at loosing her job and turning 40 all around the same time have taken their toll. She is a little fearful. I try to reassure her, get her positive and boost her up. We all need her to be happy but I understand that is something that cannot be forced. Love sometimes is a commitment and requires us to give of ourselves to support the other.

My son is growing, my daughter is gorgeous, I am a very happy and content father. This role suits me. I wonder about boys lack of discipline and how I can give him some. Perhaps I let him have too much choice and should impose stricter time tables.

I am quite positive about my professional, and physical future. Sure there are issues, there are always issues but I am more than a survivor. I am fighter, doing, make it happen kind of guy and I have been missing that part of myself for so long.

I read a report lately and I am very touched by it. The Church in Ireland has been pretty awful and this one guy in this report has taken a stand. I expect many others to follow but given most grave yards are 'Hallowed ground' I wonder where people will be buried.  I am very touched by this story, given my own experiences in the church. I just thank the stars I am away from all of that now. I find my own God in my own way following the path before me.
I wish this man and his partner a well, happy and rich life.

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