It's December. I will see my son for about 6 days between now and then. His mother refuses to answer if he can come to a company organised celebration next Saturday. There is a present waiting for him.
The tree has been bought and decorated. He had fun. He was strangely distant on Monday morning, not wanting to give me a hug and kiss in front of his friends. Already, at 7 he is changing.
He made a song at the weekend in french. It was basically 'Beside my little good man was my little good man' which he sang about 15 times and finished with comic timing perfection to 'beside my little good man was nobody'.
He wants a bike so he can go cycling with us. I want to get it for him. But I am too nervous to go out on my own bike on the roads around us....logic says the bike must wait.
He wants a Robot..no not one of those 150 euro black and white things that have computerised behaviour patterns..a real robot with lazers and blazing eyes...
He wants Mega Bloks.
What to get for my partner and my friend coming over from Ireland I haven't a clue. Women can be difficult to buy for. Sometimes they appreciate the most simple things far more than any man ever would. But who wants to buy simple at Christmas.
I try to keep it limited on spending and stress. Its not easy. I fully expect my son's mother to change plans again at the last minute. He is supposed to Celebrate Christmas with us on the Weekend before hand and then on the Monday Christmas eve go back to his Mam. I know she is going to screw that up. She did last year.
But this is Christmas. The time of year when my nerves are on edge as to the welfare of my son and I try not to let him see me stress. I want him to know how much he is loved even if he isn't with me all the time. I have no hate for his mother, just dissappointment. I dont see the point in waisting my energy hating.
So it's really only early december but for us it's six days to Christmas and then a few days after there is another Christmas but my boy isn't there so I don't feel too much like celebrating that one.
This is Christmas make of it what you will but for crying out loud enjoy it.
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