Life

Life.
It is for living.
It is full of situations. Each situation can be seen as challenging or to be avoided, or as rewarding, or as difficult, tough, hard, fun and a plethora of other words. I have no doubt however that it is not meant to pass us by.

When we are old and grey and look back on our time on this planet, there must be signs of interaction with others, signs of achievement, signs of being here.
There must be signs that all has not been taken for granted and that all that has been has not been in vain.

Perhaps this is just how I, a man, neither young nor old make sense of my existence.

I was perhaps follisome in my youth. I was certainly naieve. I have a sense of something that for me is a 'right way' of  being with others and often I have suffered for it. You see motives are never entirely pure. My motives of looking after others are surely in a small way, motivated by a fear of being abandoned or having no one around. I have learned in my time here in this place, that different cultures, interpret human kindness in different ways. Many here interpret it as something to take advantage of. That has nothing to do with the place. It's everything to do with the type of people that are attracted to being here however.
I am  always right. I am never wrong either. In the great energy system that is the human race, I like everyone else, am susceptible to energies. When I postulate an argument I am right, all of us are. This point of view if you like, is valid because it exists and therefore cannot be wrong. It is an energy in itself. It might not be apt for the situation but it is not wrong in the scale of the universe.
I can ignore energies if I wish, as many do, and close down, which I believe leads to illness. I can meet energies head on which can with unawareness lead to issues,  or I can weigh each one up and decide for itself and myself how to react in the most healthy way possible.

How difficult to write about a concept when I know that each and every word could be interpreted differently to the way I intend it to be. My way of dealing with other energies has become more and more to meet them head on. What has changed from my youth is the awareness of my own reaction to energies and synergies. Sometimes I wonder am I more .....in tune with the reality of what is happening. I notice lately I am encountering situations that are mirroring my beliefs. Up to this point at this phase of my life, I  have meet a lot of energies that were counter to my beliefs. Now I am being affirmed. Now, it is no longer the same belief system or  perhaps it's better expressed by saying my belief system has adjusted itself, been tempered and refined. I am still afraid of things I call challenges but I have learned if I don't stand up face to face and look them in the eye....( what does that mean? ) If  I don't take responsibility for myself then I can't blame anyone else for my happiness or un-happiness. The buck stops here so to speak. This goes for everything from my expanding waste line, to my lack of real writing, to my job search, to my romance, to my sense of self and well being.

I have a friend who's Gospel is 'all we have is projection'. I understand this but disagree strongly with it. For in a balanced universe of Gravity and Flight, black and white, good and evil, day and night, if there is projection then there is reception. Reception or receptiveness to energy is I believe a big part of who I am. I read something today about the doing. Stop the bitching, the excuses, the explanations, the reasons, just do it. In other words my writing career that I have long abandoned for moaning about the French or keeping fit, or drinking wine, or spending time playing games on the computer, or whatever, will never happen if I don't make choices. I must learn to channel the energy into the place it will give me most satisfaction. I am like a Nuclear reactor but I am only being used to light a 40 w light bulb in the storage room at the back of my brain. I have so much potential and it has to start somewhere. It's up to me to be receptive to this energy.