After the hottest month of May since records began, June has started to torrential downpours, crazy thunderstorms and spectacular lightning effects. Nature is well and alive and vibrant.
I have been spending time making tobacco ties. Trying to remember every month of my life. One of the issues when you look at your life, is that it becomes a bit, let's say, disturbed in the present. When you really remember the choices you made, the lovers you had, the rejections you suffered, everything is crystallised into a small drug like dose of life. It makes you reflect. I run through all the emotions and finish up with my head so far up my ass I can't tell the difference between my navel and my nostril.
Will this change anything? Am I just wasting time? With my injuries this year my sport has gone out the window and tiredness and all this confusion has been a extra slice of excuses as to why not go for a ride, or run. I am barely hanging on sport ways, I am in between contracts job wise and it's insecure. When you throw yourself into the great space, there is always a period of insecurity, and even fear, before you learn you can fly. I haven't learned yet that I can fly. I know life has more in store for me, or least I need more than the mundane. Perhaps there is a new adventure around the corner. I just have to be open to becoming myself and realising my dreams. Which shall always remain unspoken, yet, I imagine, are perfectly clear from my writings.
I imagined I was going to be questing in unbearable heat, and now it looks like it could be unbearable downpours.... who knows how the spirit will chose to answer the questions of a lifetime?
I have been spending time making tobacco ties. Trying to remember every month of my life. One of the issues when you look at your life, is that it becomes a bit, let's say, disturbed in the present. When you really remember the choices you made, the lovers you had, the rejections you suffered, everything is crystallised into a small drug like dose of life. It makes you reflect. I run through all the emotions and finish up with my head so far up my ass I can't tell the difference between my navel and my nostril.
Will this change anything? Am I just wasting time? With my injuries this year my sport has gone out the window and tiredness and all this confusion has been a extra slice of excuses as to why not go for a ride, or run. I am barely hanging on sport ways, I am in between contracts job wise and it's insecure. When you throw yourself into the great space, there is always a period of insecurity, and even fear, before you learn you can fly. I haven't learned yet that I can fly. I know life has more in store for me, or least I need more than the mundane. Perhaps there is a new adventure around the corner. I just have to be open to becoming myself and realising my dreams. Which shall always remain unspoken, yet, I imagine, are perfectly clear from my writings.
I imagined I was going to be questing in unbearable heat, and now it looks like it could be unbearable downpours.... who knows how the spirit will chose to answer the questions of a lifetime?
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