Sunday, June 05, 2011

The journey continues.

After the hottest month of May since records began, June has started to torrential downpours, crazy thunderstorms and spectacular lightning effects. Nature is well and alive and vibrant.
I have been spending time making tobacco ties. Trying to remember every month of my life. One of the issues when you look at your life, is that it becomes a bit, let's say, disturbed in the present. When you really remember the choices you made, the lovers you had, the rejections you suffered, everything is crystallised into a small drug like dose of life. It makes you reflect. I run through all the emotions and finish up with my head so far up my ass I can't tell the difference between my navel and my nostril.
Will this change anything? Am I just wasting time?  With my injuries this year my sport has gone out the window and tiredness and all this confusion has been a extra slice of excuses as to why not go for a ride, or run. I am barely hanging on sport ways, I am in between contracts job wise and it's insecure. When you throw yourself into the great space, there is always a period of insecurity, and even fear, before you learn you can fly. I haven't learned yet that I can fly. I know life has more in store for me, or least I need more than the mundane. Perhaps there is a new adventure around the corner. I just have to be open to becoming myself and realising my dreams. Which shall always remain unspoken, yet, I imagine, are perfectly clear from my writings.
I imagined I was going to be questing in unbearable heat, and now it looks like it could be unbearable downpours.... who knows how the spirit will chose to answer the questions of a lifetime?

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