Would you belive it? I don't. I have seen Mr Bush, you know the smirking chimp guy, the guy who when he looks at thousands made homeless, or talks about thousands dying, or considers sending thousands to their deaths; you know? he smiles? Well finally I have seen him without a smile and by God it changed him completely. He looked for the first time like he knew what he was doing. I am stunned. So okay, maybe this next thing is in bad taste but I couldn't resist.
George Bush is sitting in his living room writing his latest speech. His cabinet have been invited over. On TV there are reports of rain lashed coastlines and Iranian nuclear weapons. Everyone is nervous about how the admininstration is doing in the latest opinion polls. George fed up with bad advice stands up and throws his papers aside. He jumps up on the coffee table, stares each and every one present in the eye, and launches into what will be remembered as the Bush speech of the Century.
It goes like this
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are gathered here today to discuss the security of the United States of America. We are gathered here today to root out the latest evil to threaten the citizens of the USA. We will not stand idly by as our people are threatened and our basic freedoms are taken away from us(smile).
America is facing a new and dangerous threat to the south of our country. I will not stand by and watch as this threat grows. (so does the smile).
I am calling up the Marine Corps, the Navy, the Airforce, the National Guard, the policeforce of every county, the CIA, the FBI, and goddamn it every one who can walk and talk and inform, to be vigiliant and aware.
I am calling all of these groups up, to root out the evil that threatens us, to silence the smoking gun on the horizon.
We will track this gun from the horizon no matter where it may turn or twist.
We know that the winds of change are blowing and we know there are those that are trying to bring us down and prevent the freedoms granted to us by our fathers and our father's fathers, and our father's father's fathers.
I can tell you we know these WMDS(Winds of Mass Distruction) will be sought out, hunted down and destroyed, these WMDS (Waters of Massive Dismay) will be pumped out, and left out to dry.
We will tolerate no more bad weather along our shores and any rain or cloud wishing to come to this wonderful country will have to justify it's reason for being here and even if it does have a visa, I will leave the decision with the good customs men and women officers of this great land as to wheither it can come in or not.
Any weather system not for us is against us, (the smile is now fixed on his face) and by golly it better run and hide because our boys will root it out no matter where it is and neutralise it.
As to our people, I say stand firm. There is an umbrella alliance gathered against the skies that would do us damage. It includes some parasols, raincoats, a couple of fans from our friends in China, a group of raincoats and galoshes from the English who have promised some wolly caps to follow should we need them.
We the American people will stand tall.(the water will be up to our necks) and those who don't will have a dear price to pay. "
With that George sat down.
As usual he didn't know what he was talking about,Condalizza bowed her head and wondered if she had a chance at the next election. Somebody in the background farted as the word kyoto popped into his mind and he tried not to speak it out loud.
The US was caught with it's pants down and woefully underprepared again.
When are you people going to wake up and use your vote to change the world. So much disaster that has been unecessary has happened already and you will go and vote the same bozo's in again? Please God NO.
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