Life changes at every signal.

You know I haven't really taken the time to blog a lot. I surf and lurk about, and I have found the most popular blogs are those dealing with how you like to fuck someone whom you don't know, whom you never met, who lives on the other side of the world and you have no idea what they look like. But they write great foreplay. It would involve being unfaithful, cause terrible guilt, end in divorce, but by christ the orgasm would be worth it. ......? Hello blog world? Yes I have good sex, not enough, but I am not going to tell you all about it here, not in this guise anyway. Yes I have posted information regulary here, but apparently it's not blogging unless it's deeply personal and definitely sexual.....hmmmn.( Why don't I have a pseudo?)
It does however seem appropriate to tell you two things, and neither of them are related to sex, unless a) you fuck in your car, and b) after 40 your sex life took on a whole new meaning.
See I woke up this year sometime around Paddy's day, and realised I am no longer a kid. This year I am 39 years old. Virgo/Libra cusp... so how the fuck am I only getting around to doing my driving theory test this week?
It's a question I ask myself a lot. I have spent my life doing what? Apart from trying to pursue dreams and then plans at various different stages, I have actually been pretty practical. My adult life was basically working in an expensive but bascially small captial city, so I was priced out of a car/insurance and didn't really have the need either. I occupied myself making friends, none of whom I am in contact with now, I had some religous experiences to follow up on and I now I am lapsed. Then I was blocked into university exams, then I was trying to make a career,then I was having a kid, getting married, then I was moving to France, then I was learning French and getting separated, and now I have learned french, and I look back and think how fucked up and badly planned has all of that been? How did I get this lucky?...Well I don't know, but I have my theory exam next Thursday morning, I think I am allowed to get 4 questions out of 40 wrong. Don't get me wrong I got 40/40 in Ireland, but that doesn't count. I drove for a year in Ireland on a provisional licence, but this is France, it doesn't count. The questions can be very tricky even for those who speak the langauge, however I am plunging in and still it might not count. So Hopefully for my 39th birthday this year I am giving myself a driving licence. It doesn't matter a damn if I can drive or not, just as long as I past the test. Most people here think indicators are Christmas decorations, and overtaking on the inside is a national sport. So too, is parking in a space half the size of your car. Lots of dents in cars here by the way. So it's the driving licence for me and learing the signals.
The other signals are that I am nearly 40, what does that mean? I still miss people I knew when I was 18, and probably still think of myself that way too. I wonder how they have all changed? Being 40 probably means nothing if you are 60 but I am not. What does been 40 mean? Well I guess I should get to 39 first and feel that one out for a while. Just like my partner who has a licence but has me beside her giving advice on how to drive ( the brazen cheek of me) , I should probably not mention 40 again until it's here. Like I shouldn't tell her how to drive till I pass my test and even then I should be very careful. You see life changes and the signals are there, I am just trying to read them early and to get the head start that never happened for one who was born 7th.