Monday, July 21, 2008

He is gone for a while and a part of me with him.

Boy who has been with us save the odd weekend since early June and for a good part of May is gone again. Last Friday I had to take him to the dentist. He had been with his Mam for a weekend and I picked him up on a Sunday. On the Thursday I got a text message telling me he had a broken tooth and it was urgent he saw a dentist. It took me a week to get organised. Let me explain. I have no insurance for my Son because I work in Monaco, I dont' have the 'family book' my ex does and so I needed the French social security number. I replied to her text and asked her for it straight away. I got it on the Saturday when we bumped into her by accident in the Supermarket. Yes I am having a bit of bitching session.
Monday I got the name of Dentist off a friend, rang and booked. It was his first visit Friday. He was excited. More so when he entered the waiting room to find the only other person there was a girlfriend who had moved from school. Apparently they had been very close at one point. They spent 20 minutes giggling. Her mother tried to make conversation with me but was obviously uncomfortable. I guess I must be perceived as a bad father somewhere in the community.

Boy had two holes in his teeth. At 8 years of age his mam only gets him to brush his teeth before he goes to bed, so once the dentist was done with it was home for mouth wash and tooth brushing lessons. Eye drops for conjunctivitis and an awful lot of hugs as we were both aware the weekend, the week, the month, the time was nearly up.

Sophie, the mother of one of the boys in his class, bumped into me outside the village school. She asked for my number to invite us to eat. I had known already herself and Thierry were different, she is one of the 3 women in the community who has ventured to have a conversation with me, to break the ice. She is a kind person, perhaps a bit like I would be with a stranger back home.

I gave her my number we exchanged names, I made sure she would ring, but like an idiot I didn't ask for her number. If she doesn't ring I will get her number and invite them the next time I see her.

They are really the only couple that have reached out to us at all. I wonder about village politics of the bourgeois here. I mean it really makes me wonder.

To be honest I don't think many of them talk to me ex either. Given most of them are blow ins I wonder what rocks their boat, what goes on behind their doors. Do they even know I exist when they walk past without saying hello.

One guy has a restaurant, it's nice. We eat their and brings friends when they come to visit. We are known so to speak. Yet when he comes to pick up his child he doesn't say hello. He knows my son, we have talked about the school. He told me everyone knows my son. Is it that out of context for him to say nothing?

All the while I berate myself severly for not being more forward myself. Damn lack of confidence in another language can be very demeaning.

Do I really intimidate all these people? Why is it only certain women, two who incidently look like they could be sisters have spoken to me?

There is nothing as bizzare as people.

I am missing boy an awful lot already.


Tea said...

I've noticed an interesting thing happening here in the states. When my boys' friends come over, their parents text them to tell them to stand outside to be picked up. No one comes to the door to even say "hello" anymore.
Am I weird to think THAT is weird?

Warrior said...

No you are not weird. I think it's sad at a strong indicator of what is wrong with the society we live in. Everyone is afraid of everyone else and it's getting worse.

Moni said...

I am so sorry your boy is gone for a while. When mine leave for dads house or grandmas house, I feel empty inside. I understand completely how you feel. No one prepares you for the emotions parenthood brings on, if they did would we still do it?

Warrior said...

Too true, Oscar Wilde said that those least qualified to have kids are parents....But do you remember how you were before you had a kid?

Moni said...

I honestly can not remember existing before my children. I knew I lived, but not existed.

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