Saturday, September 25, 2010

An Expensive Mouse

Summer time where we are is hot. We keep the doors and windows open to allow the air to circulate through the house. I am freak for my kitchen so when flies and bugs and crawlies get in there, I freak. It's a stress related disorder. The more stressed I am the more I freak at the crawlies. If I am relaxed, I just  pick them up and throw them outsided. That doesn't happen too often.

Recently we started having fridge problems.. Only have the ice box was freezing our food, the cool box was losing temperature.....and we thought hell, it has to be replaced. During our pondering, one evening, there was a cry from the kitchen. Lover was looking stressed. " We have a mouse! ".

I wasn't in the slightest freaked. I opened the kitchen door and there he was, an odd looking creature, a rodent for sure, definitely not a rat, but not what I would have called a mouse......he hopped off along the counter and down behind the electrical machines...

We cleaned the kitchen like fanatics, I made a barrier in the kitchen put down some poison and left the door open in the hope the visitor would get the idea and just leave. I went to back to bed from whence I had come.

The next morning all was clear, no mouse droppings anywhere, poison seemed a bit disturbed, I cleaned up and shut up the kitchen.

A few days later just after dinner there was a hissing sound in the kitchen.....I investigated behind the machines and one of the water pipes had a small bite in it, and it was pissing water everywhere. We shut off the water, put down more poison, replaced the pipes, never easy in a tight space and lived as normal.

The new fridge arrived a week later, running water was needed as it had an ice maker, and I jack of all trades that I am ,  I was able to plumb that in without  a bother, just a 20 km round trip to the hardware store on a hot day.

Two days ago, we saw more evidence of our long tailed friend, this time, little lines of shit, packets of unopened beans, chewed, my open almonds bitten while still in the bag.......Goddam, lots of food into the bin another top to bottom clean. All food will now be kept in Jars, glass jars. Anything else will go into the kickass huge fridge we got. I am getting close to freaking. I carefully place poison in strategic places.

This morning I awoke to blackness. No lights. no clocks, I got up to investigate. No light in the bathroom. I walked into the kitchen. It had become a swimming pool. There was a good 2 inches/ 5 centimeters of water on the floor accompanied by a hissing sound. When I say on the floor, I mean it was like a luxury swimming pool in there, a bit of heat and it would have been a sauna. I thought the new fridge had upped and died on us. I checked the power box, and the mains switch had tripped. Luckily for me, because sleepy as I was I just strolled in my bare feet. I couldn't believe it. Mr mouse had chewed the same pipe, I cut the water supply cleaned up. Had he chewed an electrical line, and somehow the power hadn't tripped, I would have very burned feet and probably still have my nails embedded in the kitchen ceiling. I hit the hard ware store, for the third time, this time buying a metal hose pipe and not a rubber one. We realised once the power was back on and everything dry, the laundry machine had gone kaput. The jet of water had no doubt hit the electrics somewhere and shorted out the machine. Mouse has already cost a couple of hundred euros and now we need  new laundry machine. When I get the little bastard I am going to douse him in parrafin, stick a firework up his ass and light it, then I am going to throw him on the halloween bonfire and dance till dawn to the gods and hope the accept the sacrifices we have made.

We now have in a room about 30 foot long, by 12 foot wide, or roughly 10 meters by 4,  3 old fashioned mouse traps, half a box of poison out of reach of kiddies hands too, and another new fangled humaine trap.... Humaine my ass, it's a mouse not a human.... I am beginning to understand how Tom felt in all those cartoons when I was a kid.


AP said...

Nice Blog

Bandersnatchi said...

Hey Collie, I enjoy reading your prose. Write some more.


Barefooted Pavee said...

After having a burst pipe here last week - I feel for you!

So, did you catch it? :)

Barefooted Pavee said...

Thanks for the post :)

I came across your blog today while reading K8 the Gr8's blog post on the subject of a “knacker” and your honest and logical approach on how to treat individuals that exist within any community was genuinely warming – the bizarre rationalisation of a familiar flow of anti social behaviour and hate mongering is a sorrowful existence in life, that shows little wane even on the blogsphere. It is both important and empowering to me to know that they are others who will argue the unfashionable points and make a clear and unpopular direction on how ignorant such stances are.

I hope you return to blogging soon, your stories and opinions are much needed in the world :)

Warrior said...

Thank you for such lovely words, for such lovely feedback. I feel really honoured and foolish. Foolish because I often feel awkward and silly for arguing my truth. It's nice to know it's worth it to someone out there. Thank you!

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