Here is a thing to give you all a laugh while I tear my hair out. Recently in blog land I lost someone I considered a friend because she judged me from her perspective. Given that our perspective is all we have I can't blame her. One of the things she said was how come you are separated 3 years and not divorced and living with someone else? Valid question and I understand and it's not that I am going to answer now. However, here is my latest escapade with my lawyer.
When I went to see him I told him I wanted a divorce and the ('garde alterner' ) meaning I would have my son with me/us every second week. It's quite normal in France. Although myself and my ex are not fans of each other we managed to communicate well enough unless she wanted to change something already planned.
She was changing too much and too many things and I got pissed off and 3 years after her demanding a divorce, while I learned french lost over a quarter of my weight, learned french, found a job, learned french, tried to be a comprising open individual, while learning french, regained the weight, gave up smoking, learned french and got fit, I finally found myself in a position to go and ask a lawyer, recommended mark you, by a friend of friend, to put my divorce in train.
In short I have my son every second weekend unless his mam decides there is something more important. I pay for his schooling and food. She lives in a 5 bedroomed house on 2 hectares, has a rich family, comes from the area, has a full time job, pays no rent, gets family allowance. I earn 1900 a month of which 1600 I get from which I pay 600 rent 200 food, 190 tax and then pay off all the bills I incurred when she threw me out on the street basically because I didn't accept her family in my ear, nor learn french quick enough ( 11 months) nor have a full time job.
So I told my lawyer I wanted a divorce and this alternative minding. A week later he told me my ex has a lawyer and no way it's not going to happen, she doesn't want money, but you can have your child every second weekend, wednesdays...( I work in Monaco 30km away and kids don't go to school on wednesdays here) and half the school holidays.... I told him no, don't be silly that's more or less my option, I told him Week on week off. After a few days I rang him back and said hey how about Thursday evening to Tuesday morning, so he has his wednesdays with his grandmother ...
Today he rang me back, almost 3 weeks later, he proposed Thursdays, till monday morning, + 200 euro. I told him basically but politely NO. He told me I would have no choice the judge is going to decide this, if I don't pay I would go to prison. I told him fine, it couldn't be worse in prison than living in France with no income, no friends, no support as I did 3 years ago. His reply was hey I love it when some one does that, a real Irish response, raising the flag. No I said, it's not Irish, there is no flag, it's me and only me. I told him all the sacrifices I had made. I gave up a career in film, gave up my studies in psychology, gave up the opportunity to study a course in business and computing before comming to france, gave up my home, my friends and my family, I am not giving up my son. Jail ( Gaol for you real english buffs) has zero fear for me and my wallet has zero euro for the mother of my son. That's the way it is.
Now here is the thing that is bugging me. He showed me her deposition for divorce that she made after I had met with him... I went to him to put in a deposition of divorce... where is my one? How come there was no depositon of me demanding the garde alterner ? How the hell do you find a lawyer in a foreign town to divorce you from the daughter of lawyer?
PS She has apparently been advised to no longer talk to me so the alternative minding won't be awarded............don't they think about the future?
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